Note: One of our therapists, Paola Filotico, wrote the below to introduce new clients to therapy with her. We thought it would be of interest to people unfamiliar with therapy, and also to anyone looking to improve the experience of therapy online – EL
Welcome. It is good to have you on board.
When I started writing this, I thought of a bridge, as I was hoping to build a way to help you into the world of therapy. For therapy may feel daunting: perhaps it is a new experience for you and you wonder how it is going to be like; or you believe it will be difficult to talk about personal stuff, or to talk at all; or perhaps you tried therapy before and it did not work. There might be so many reasons to feel apprehensive, and they are all equally valid.
With this in mind, here are some ideas about the work that we are going to do together.
What happens in therapy
Therapy gives you space and time to reflect, explore different areas of your life, understand your thoughts, connect to your emotions, and gain self-knowledge and awareness. It is a process where you learn to be brutally honest with yourself, which makes it challenging at times, but also rewarding.
During a session, we will be curious about people and all sorts of circumstances, past and present – an issue in your relationship, a feeling for a sibling, your colleagues at work, family, sex, religion, dreams, or anything that is on your mind. No topic is too mundane, too personal, or not good enough for therapy. I will listen, ask questions, at times offer input; together, we will be able to spot patterns, to make more sense of life, and create change. As we will work together, our relationship will matter too, so even this could be session material.
The digital factor
I work online with my clients. This setting is obviously different from the more traditional therapy room, and has its own logistics, so I felt it was useful to create some specific guidance which will help you make the most out of your sessions:
Ritualise your sessions. In other words, make your sessions as consistent and outwardly similar as possible. Set the physical space in advance: using exactly the same space for every session is not always possible, but you can use consistently one or more elements which become part of your therapy routine. It could be a blanket, a certain mug, a special tea, an essence you burn before the session, a piece of jewellery that you wear. It can be anything, and the more elements you add, the better. You will see that therapy has its own rhythm, which is separate from the rhythm of day to day life, and these elements will help you to get into ‘therapy mode’. In time, they will make it easier for you to access thoughts and feelings, and make meaningful links
Respect your sessions. So for example: switch off your phone, turn off notifications, don’t browse the internet, don’t do therapy on the go (walking or driving), ask people in your household not to interrupt, don’t be in bed / in your pyjamas. It is the best way to take therapy seriously, to acknowledge that you deserve it, and to engage with it truthfully.
Wherever you are, be comfortable. It is better to be in your car wrapped in a cosy blanket than to sit at your desk with work documents looming over you. Have some water and tissues with you.
Choose somewhere private. In therapy we often touch upon sensitive topics, and it is hard to be open if we think someone else might be listening.
Before and after the session, allow some time for yourself. 10 minutes at each end is enough, 15 is preferable. Before the session, this time will help you clear your mind of other things you were doing, and after the session, it will give you a chance to ground, reflect, and take notes.
By all means, none of these rules is set in stone: they are suggestions which, based on my experience, make for a better therapeutic process. Do not hesitate to ask questions or discuss any of these when we meet.
I look forward to our work together.
Paola
